Dont Feed the Bullies End Cyber Bullying
Don't Feed the Bully Brad Tassell [email protected] com www. dontfeedthebully. com Educator tips for stopping bullying…
Motivational Moment "We have discovered that social and emotional skill building goes hand in hand with learning. " Esther Schwartz principal PS 32 The Bronx "When teachers take the time to establish trusting relationships with their students, it can make a world of difference. " Human Development, Freiberg 2011
Frightening Facts Teachers only intervene 14% of the time when bullying takes place in school. Only 4% when bullying happens on the playground. (Craig and Pepler 2000)
Who Were the Bullies? Lessons from Columbine…
Lessons from Columbine 10 year study, Jeff Daniels, counseling psychologist, West Virginia University Schools that have minimized violence, foiled attacks, lessened bullying have: ØAn informal, respectful contact between staff and students. Ø"You go into these schools and in the cafeteria almost every table has a teacher interacting with the students and actually visiting with them. " Daniels ØAssured students they could turn to an adult if danger surfaced, without being "a traitor. "
Lessons from Columbine 10 year study, Jeff Daniels, counseling psychologist, West Virginia University Schools that have minimized violence, foiled attacks, lessened bullying have: ØAssemblies emphasized the difference between snitching and getting help. Ø Staff took rumors seriously. ØThere were anti-bullying programs with staff.
Teacher Awareness Quick and simple steps to quell the bully tide…
Don't Be a Bully Yourself! Some kids will rub you the wrong way. Understand how to make fun. Labeling can cause "Trickle Down Effect. " (Dubin, 2010)
Keep an Ally on Hand! Try not to meet with parents alone. Keep an eye on each other. Always step in to stop defensiveness. Good to have a witness. *Pre-service teacher tip!
Don't Give Them Your Bias! Mouse Story Handy's lesson
Teach Tolerance! Incorporate tolerance themes into existing lesson plans. If you are teaching reading or history, you can use books with fictional characters or real community leaders who have diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, and cultures.
For example, Tassell's novel for middle school kids, Don't Feed the Bully, tells the story of a child who challenges mean kids at his school. Role-playing activities based on this or other books give students a chance to process, prepare, and practice how to handle different situations. (Bullies Be Gone, Mannion)
Watch for mixed messages Books for varied ages: My Secret Bully, Trudy Ludwig (ages 4 -8) Stick, Stones, and Stumped! Deb Landry (ages 4 -8) The Playground King, Phyllis Reynolds Taylor (ages 4 -8) Clicks, Phonies, and other Baloney, Trevor Romain (ages 911) Stick up for Yourself, Gershen Kaufman, others, (teen)
Follow the Protocol! Have protocol in place. Make it clear the steps that will be taken. Keep consistent.
Consistent, Consistent! The double standard lives! Be ultra flexible. You still have to work case by case basis. Try not to create popularity contests.
Fair is Not Treating Everyone the Same! Know the kids. Each student can have different rules.
Tattle Tame! Have a mechanism for reporting. Do what you said you would do.
Be Observant! Bullying often occurs in covert ways. Keeping a written record of students' verbal and body language can help teachers recognize subtle cues. Describing and naming what you see enhances your ability to notice negativity and disrespect. Once you hear of a problem become a private eye. Become more of a presence in their lives out side of class.
Talk it out in Class o Group teaching creates a group mindset that creates a culture of caring. o 84% of students are more empathetic to the victim, but because of peer pressure, they will be more supportive of the bullying. o Create an honor code have them sign it, and the parents too! o Try and set up a lesson on talking about the ways we are all different. o Aspergers o Autism o ADHD o OCD o ETC.
Help Starve a Bully! Assisting victims of bullying…
Assist Victims of Bullying? 1. Take victims of bullying seriously. They may be very upset and not show it. When you let bullying go, you reinforce that it is okay. Bullying situations are not appropriate for mediation sessions, where youth work things out themselves. Interview bystanders if the bullying happened in public. Talk about bystanders helping!
Assist Victims of Bullying? 2. Help victims of bullying communicate with others and seek additional help. Encourage them to talk to their parents, and offer to help them do it. Be aware the parents may be part of the problem! If you believe there is real danger. Get help! Counselor. Authorities.
Assist Victims of Bullying? 3. Help victims develop coping strategies, but be sure they know it is not their fault for being bullied, even if these don't work: Use the buddy system. Make Class responsible for every ones safety. What does Don't Feed the Bully mean in their situation? All violence gets reported! Be alert and remember details. When bullying goes unchecked, the victim becomes terrorized.
Assist victims of bullying? 4. Recognize some of the red flags that a child may be a victim of bullying: Frequent absences Avoidance of peers Nervousness Unexplained anger and resentment Feeling sick to avoid things Avoidance of group restrooms Cuts and bruises
The Cure Shouldn't Kill You! Redirecting Bullies…
Redirect Students who Bully Others! 1. Stop bullying immediately. Intervene immediately so that it does not escalate. Identify specific behavior you observed, and emphasize that the bullying behavior is unacceptable. Take it private! But do it now! Move bullying student to a location to speak away from other students. Consider a "Chill" Room, for ASD and other students with social disorders. (dubin, 2010)
Redirect Students who Bully Others! 2. Hold students who have bullied others accountable for their actions. Stress that the behavior is not acceptable, and that they are fully responsible for their choices, and they will be held accountable after the fact. Calmly impose consequences for bullying behavior, while communicating that you value the student, but they must stop behaving aggressively. Encourage apologies, but do not set up a mediation session as this could be intimidating for victims. Consider bully mentoring.
Redirect Students who Bully Others! 3. Avoid labeling bullies when addressing students who have engaged in bullying behaviors directly. when referring to them while speaking to their parents and others. Talk about the specific unacceptable behaviors instead.
Redirect Students who Bully Others! 4. Notice appropriate behavior. Youth who are trying to change for the better often continue to receive feedback only about their negative behavior. Don't be tempted to negate compliments by saying, "Why can't you always behave this way? " The lesson of Zach and Jack!
Redirect Students who Bully Others! 5. Help the students discover replacement behaviors to engage in instead of bullying. Give the students leadership roles, and provide immediate feedback about what they do well. Tell students what you want them to do, not what you don't want. Encourage students to use their influence in positive ways.
Redirect Students who Bully Others! 6. Help students who bully develop empathy. Encourage participation in service activities that foster empathy for people who are different from them. (Have them read Don't Feed the Bully. ) Discuss the feelings of characters being bullied in movie clips.
Starve a Bully, Feed an Ego! Making it work…
Making it Work! Safe & Responsible Schools, 3 rd edition Effective programs have two key prerequisites: Awareness Adult involvement You must know the extent of bullying/victims, plus all adults need a firm commitment to stopping it.
Making it Work! Safe & Responsible Schools, 3 rd edition Three steps to a safer school Coordination Creating Awareness Ongoing implementation & Evaluation
Making it Work! Safe & Responsible Schools, 3 rd edition Coordination • • • Majority of prevention programs recommend a committee at school level. A coordinator for activities and curriculum. Assess the extent of problem typically using questionnaires. (Suggestion: Coordinator is school counselor who is in keeps record of all data and bullying situations. )
Making it Work! Safe & Responsible Schools, 3 rd edition • Creating Awareness Staff programs on bullying and prevention. A school-wide policy regarding bullying. Clear expectations of staff and students presented. Follow up sessions throughout the year. Middle elementary use of buttons, posters, art projects, reading in the classroom. (Schools have done some wonderful and fun plays from Don't Feed the Bully. )
Making it Work! Safe & Responsible Schools, 3 rd edition • Ongoing Implementation & Evaluation Questionnaires Surveys Checklists Interviews Track all incidents of bullying Monitor each situation ongoing
Making it Work! Safe & Responsible Schools, 3 rd edition • Examples: • • • Peer Nomination Inventory Bullying survey Create an honor code: • Explains what bullying is. • Explains what will be done when it happens. • Explains to parents policy and steps. • Create/Students take oath. • Parents and Students all sign. • Post Bully-Free Declaration all over school.
Making it Work! Safe & Responsible Schools, 3 rd edition Sample Bully Free Declaration from Asperger Syndrome and Bullying by Nick Dubin. (I chanced it a little. ) "We the students, teachers, and parents of ____school, declare that all members of the community are valuable citizens. We affirm that no student will ever be teased or bullied with an intention to cause harm. We agree that students who choose to act contrary to this policy should be subjected to consequences for their actions. It is important to stand up for the people who have been bullied and to let those who bully know that what he or she is doing is unacceptable. It is in the ____ tradition that we affirm these principles of inclusion and acceptance for every student, teacher, or member of our community. " o Sample contract for parents on first day of school. "Dear Parents and/or legal guardians, Please read and review the bully free declaration with your child. Below you will see a contract that we are asking students and parents to sign. Discuss the contract and the importance of bullying prevention with your son or daughter before he or she returns to school with signed contract tomorrow. " "I___ agree that I will abide by the principles and policies set forth in the Bully-Free Declaration. If I don't abide by then, I agree to accept the consequences for my actions. "
Who wants to hang out? PTO/PTA parents, grandparents Lunch room Playground Classroom Hallway Be clear as to why they are there
The Predator's Web Cyber Bullies…
What Is Cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is the use of electronic communications such as the Internet to harass, threaten, and harm others.
What tactics are used by those who cyberbully? "Dissing" or "Flaming" – spreading damaging gossip Harassment – repeatedly sending or forwarding hateful messages; posting pictures of victims without their consent Impersonation – Pretending to be someone else online and posting damaging information, or tricking someone else into revealing personal information
What misconceptions do those engaging in cyberbullying often have? Cyberbullying is not a big deal; no one really gets hurt. My friends think it's funny, so it's OK. There's no way I can get caught.
What can students do to prevent cyberbullying? If you wouldn't say it in person, don't say it online. Be kind online. Refuse to forward cyberbullying messages; delete them instead. Tell friends to stop cyberbullying. Block communication with those who cyberbully. Stay away from sites that tolerate and encourage bullying. Report cyberbullying to a trusted adult.
What should students do if they are victims of cyberbullying? Never try to seek revenge. Calmly ask for the cyberbullying to stop. Tell the person that you will take other steps will be taken if the cyberbullying does not stop. Tell a parent or guardian, forward and save all messages.
What teachers can do to help stop cyberbullying? Enforce school bans on texting, phones, and school internet. Let victims know they are not to blame. Understand they may be afraid to tell their parents, but encourage them to do so, or offer to talk to their parents with them.
What teachers can do to help stop cyberbullying? Encourage them to block messages, delete messages without reading them. Always have all messages forwarded to parents and authorities. Report incidents to Internet service providers. If threats are made, police should be notified. Digital drivers license. (Constant, 2011)
What teachers can do to help stop cyberbullying? (cont. ) Have contact and numbers for all social networking sites. Facebook: 650 -543 -4800 Have a school contact on each site and encourage students to add school as friend. Be knowledgeable on current laws regarding freedom of speech. Just because it bugs you doesn't mean they can't do it. Save copies of all texts, emails, pictures, etc.
Reference books Don't Feed the Bully, Brad Tassell Aspergers and Bullying, Nick Dubin Lost at School, Ross W. Greene Teacher's Survival Guide, Julia Roberts and Julie Roberts Boggess
Questions? Comments?
Resources www. turnarounduse. org www. inspiringteachers. com www. stopcyberbullying. org http: //www. community-matters. org/safe-school- ambassadors/ www. digitalcitizenship. net http: //www. usatoday. com/news/education/2009 -0413 -columbine-lessons_N. htm http: //www. usatoday. com/news/education/2009 -0413 -columbine-effects-schools_N. htm
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